By M. Jai Jenkins
“How could someone from a particular religion or ethnic background not believe that they could find love outside this group? Are they searching for love or security? When you grow to love someone, did you really just get used to them?” – M. Jai Jenkins
Love is a very interesting word. What’s even more interesting is the plethora of ways which people define it. The dictionary has at least 14 definitions, (so it’s safe to say that there is no one clear definition.)
There’s several touchy subjects that instantly divide groups. Religion and politics divide friends, family, states and countries. Love is supposedly universal; so everyone loves love, right?
I assumed so, when growing up, now I realize that like most of the perceptions in life- it’s relative. What is love? How do we know love exists and how do you know when you’re really in love? How do you know if someone really loves you?
Why do couples whom claim to be madly in love “fall out” of love? I was told that love is eternal. If you believe in love, I’m convinced you have to believe in love at first sight. Love is love after all.
To not believe in love at first sight, are you saying that love has a timeline? Or does love wait to kick in at a particular moment? I understand it can’t possibly be the same for everyone. Some fall in love instantly, some over time, others are suddenly taken by it and some grow to love their partners. That’s all, assuming love really exists. Could it not be mistaken for an extreme case of attraction or lust?
“It reeks of a mythological emotion or passion given life by the lonely and over feed from our insecurities and desires to belong.”
In addition to the fact; that we (humans) need to have an explanation for everything. If love is blind and so unconditional then why is it so selective? Love appears to have stipulations and is contingent upon select criteria, conditions or securities.
Prerequisites and love sound like an oxymoron but its existence is real. Some women won’t marry without a particular carat size and so forth. I thought you were supposed to married for love. Same goes for men, who’s list of prerequisites for Love; never come with equivalent, self-imposed standards.
Does love not conquer all?
Dictionary.com definition is
- a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
- a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
- sexual passion or desire.
How could someone from a particular religion or ethnic background not believe that they could find love outside this group? Are you searching for love or security? When you grow to love someone, did you really just get used to them?
I had believed love to be understanding, patient, and gracious. Being taught through media that Love brings together unions, congregations, nations, and more. Yet; love has to be the most misunderstood, misused, over-stated and manipulative word in our language.
“Some women won’t marry without a particular carat (ring) size and so forth…That’s not marrying for love.”
Love’s effect, is similar to cartoon characters, who drifted above ground following the scent of a mouthwatering aroma.
The love from parent to child and the love from spouse to spouse can’t be the same type of love. So, how many variations are there? Divorce rates are high, what happened to the love that united these unions and then dissipated. Sometimes, evolving to violent hatred?
“…Same goes for men, whom list of prerequisites for love; never comes with equivalent, self-imposed standards.”
Does love exist, or is it attraction and lust? Did this fondness develop from an attraction to this person or was this bond glued with stipulations? It also makes me wonder if hate is really a variation of love. They invoke all the same responses.
How could you hate someone you don’t have emotions for, something else has to be a catalyst for exhibiting this intense passion. As far as love from parent to child, is this love automatic? If so, why are their horrible parents? To say that every parent loves their child would not be a fact.
Also, what accounts for some parents loving one child more than the other children? That makes love appear selective and as if only some of us possess it. Can a serial killer still be a loving person to his family? A sexual predator still love his wife? Can a adopted twin, separated at birth, still love its sibling?
Love is undefined. It isn’t the same in any two people’s eyes. If you ask a thousand people to define love, you may receive a thousand different answers. I suggest finding someone’s definition of love that closely resembles yours. -M. Jai Jenkins